How long has it been since I last enjoyed my obligation-free holiday.. that holiday when I can do ‘nothing’.. save those I feel like doing.. and not even worry about spending too much and getting fat?
Ten years – no, fifteen, twenty years!
Is the grown-up world that malicious?
Holidays have become synonymous with endless demands from the gods of the world. There is ‘no choice’ but to obediently, dutifully, attend to others’ needs. There is ‘no choice’ but to whip myself to run faster in this rat race world – not so I can win the race, just so I won’t be left too far behind. There is ‘no choice’ but to do my work.
“You can change the way you look at it,” says someone.
But I have become too guilty to sleep. I can’t even enjoy a massage without having a million thoughts running through my mind.
Like a candle burned from both sides.
There was a day in university, when I decided to skip classes for one whole day – ‘floating’ at home, doing nothing, with no questions asked – simply to de-clutter my heart and my mind. How resurrected I felt the next day!
I’m glad I did it. Grateful for it.
There is no more chance do it now. If I skip there’ll be arrangement to do for my substitutes, who will most likely be unhappy. My bosses will demand a ‘professional’ explanation. And the HRD will deduct my salary.. dammit.
Have I reached the point of no return?
No comments:
Post a Comment