I am sorry
I never mean to leave you alone in your struggles
Never mean to only watch you from this distance

You have retained my admiration, if not respect
For not giving up, for keeping up the fight
When others have chosen to rest

Yet I am too frightened to be near you
I even become too tense to laugh
Your presence petrifies me

You tell me how worthless I am
Vomit on me your words of contempt
As I feign indifference and neglect

We keep hurting each other

I am sorry