Awaken

There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. (Matthew 10:26)

It is that prolonged situation where you are unsure if he ever needs you, if he ever genuinely desires you, if he has used you only to ward off the ones he desires no more.

It is that inner struggle, when you uncover his deceptions and wonder whether to pretend not knowing, or to reveal them and wound his parents’ hearts.

It is when Reality dawned on you: you will never satisfy his pride, you will never reach the point where he willingly acknowledges you.

He never asked you to stay, so you too never pledged anything.

So you decide to altogether stop writing and texting him. Perhaps he never needs them anyway. He never said he did. He never showed he did. Does he not have his pretty entourage – sexy, flirty, sweet and giggly – to satisfy his need for attention?

It crushes you to stop sharing with him your thoughts and feelings, but you learned to; because that was what he taught you in the many times he was silent and cold-shouldered, in the many times he whisked away chances for warmth.

If he really wants you, he’ll come to you, tell you, and show you; because he did those with his pretty friends – he spoke to them, shared himself with them, convinced them he’s worth their love.

So you decide to slip away. As you go, you cry and bleed in silence like you have in these  (wasted) years. You pray for the grace not to be bitter and spiteful. You pray, lest you resent his success and rejoice in his downfall.

You pray for his well-being.

And you pray for yourself, for strength and integrity not to use anyone only as temporary escape. You pray for peace.

Then you fade away.

If you are in love

I pray that she is not that insincere
that she should love you only for your strengths
or only to soothe her fear of the future
Lest when she learns of your weaknesses
should be disillusioned, and leave

I pray that you are not that insecure
that you should see only her beauty
blind yourself from her imperfections
Lest when you learn of her flaws
should be disappointed, and broken

Think Of Me

Think of me
think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me
once in a while -
please promise me
you'll try.
When you find
that, once again,
you long to
take your heart back
and be free -
if you
ever find
a moment,
spare a thought
for me
We never said
our love
was evergreen,
or as unchanging
as the sea -
but if
you can still
remember
stop and think
of me
Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the things
which might have been
Think of me,
think of me waking,
silent and
resigned.
Imagine me,
trying too hard
to put you
from my mind.
Recall those days
look back
on all those times,
think of the things
we'll never do -
there will
never be
a day, when
I won't think
of you . .
We never said
our love
was evergreen,
or as unchanging
as the sea -
but please
promise me,
that sometimes
you will think
of me

From The Phantom Of The Opera
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The Heart Nebula

This picture reminds me of The Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Observe the center. It looks like Jesus hanging on the cross.

Light From The Heart Nebula, 3rd October 2006
Credit & Copyright: Matt Russell

Explanation: What powers the Heart Nebula? The large emission nebula dubbed IC 1805 looks, in whole, like a human heart. The nebula glows brightly in red light emitted by its most prominent element: hydrogen. The red glow and the larger shape are all created by a small group of stars near the nebula's center. A close up spanning about 30 light years contains many of these stars is shown above. This open cluster of stars contains a few bright stars nearly 50 times the mass of our Sun, many dim stars only a fraction of the mass of our Sun, and an absent microquasar that was expelled millions of years ago. The Heart Nebula is located about 7,500 light years away toward the constellation of Cassiopeia. (NASA)