Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
2013/12/08
2012/02/14
I love you
Sweeter than the sweetest joy I ever imagined
In this crowded world, our hearts have found each other
In this crowded world, our hearts have found each other
2012/02/05
Suddenly Legit
Remember your late teenage years? Those awful, awkward times, when we didn't know what to do and where to go. During the course we learned that it was not meant to be. Are we not glad it was over. I know I am.
There was a stretch of time when I felt stung with shame whenever I remembered you.
But lately I have straightened my back and realized it was not that much of a failure.
I looked around and saw the fancies of adolescents these days, and recalled how different your likings were. Instead of succumbing to the ridiculous pop culture, you differentiated (non-classical) performers for their art. Instead of worshipping seemingly innocent pretty faces, you went for Victoria's Secret angels and things your mother had better not see. You introduced me to artists before they became mainstream.
In short, the person whom I fell for was not just a boy. You were already a man, budding as you were.
The past now justifies itself. You were not a clever choice, but it wasn't that bad after all.
There was a stretch of time when I felt stung with shame whenever I remembered you.
But lately I have straightened my back and realized it was not that much of a failure.
I looked around and saw the fancies of adolescents these days, and recalled how different your likings were. Instead of succumbing to the ridiculous pop culture, you differentiated (non-classical) performers for their art. Instead of worshipping seemingly innocent pretty faces, you went for Victoria's Secret angels and things your mother had better not see. You introduced me to artists before they became mainstream.
In short, the person whom I fell for was not just a boy. You were already a man, budding as you were.
The past now justifies itself. You were not a clever choice, but it wasn't that bad after all.
2009/05/20
But, soft!
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing; what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
William Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 2
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing; what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
William Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 2
2009/05/17
Love
Love is a breach in the walls, a broken gate,
Where that comes in that shall not go again;
Love sells the proud heart's citadel to Fate.
They have known shame, who love unloved. Even then
When two mouths, thirsty each for each, find slacking,
And agony's forgot, and hushed the crying
Of credulous hearts, in heaven – such are but taking
Their own poor dreams within their arms, and lying
Each in his lonely night, each with a ghost.
Some share that night. But they know, love grows colder,
Grows false and dull, that was sweet lies at most.
Astonishment is no more in hand or shoulder,
But darkens, and dies out from kiss to kiss.
All this is love; and all love is but this.
By Rupert Brooke (1887-1915), English poet
Where that comes in that shall not go again;
Love sells the proud heart's citadel to Fate.
They have known shame, who love unloved. Even then
When two mouths, thirsty each for each, find slacking,
And agony's forgot, and hushed the crying
Of credulous hearts, in heaven – such are but taking
Their own poor dreams within their arms, and lying
Each in his lonely night, each with a ghost.
Some share that night. But they know, love grows colder,
Grows false and dull, that was sweet lies at most.
Astonishment is no more in hand or shoulder,
But darkens, and dies out from kiss to kiss.
All this is love; and all love is but this.
By Rupert Brooke (1887-1915), English poet
2009/05/16
Sonnet XVII
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
By Pablo Neruda (1904-1973), Chilean writer
Cien Sonetos de Amor (100 Love Sonnets)
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
By Pablo Neruda (1904-1973), Chilean writer
Cien Sonetos de Amor (100 Love Sonnets)
2008/09/06
Facebook wall posts are overrated.
Mature, intimate lovers and (very) close friends hardly 'wall' each other. Married couples especially don't use it to communicate, unless they want to be silly and romantic on occasion, maybe.
I myself seldom wall the people I cherish the most. The intimacy of a private message is far more appealing. Even better: a face to face get-together, or a phone call. This may reflect a personal preference though. I prefer sharing with my loved one(s) without having to advertise our sphere to the rest of the world.
Facebook walls, then, are generally for friendly greetings, harmless discussions, and among younger users: territorial marking. It is interesting to observe how the latter works: a wall post from an opposite sex would soon be followed a barrage from other competitors - all of whom boast a 'special' connection with the wall owner. I always find this kind of posts comical and therefore amusing.
Still, such territorial marking does cause enough insecurity that many are urged to regularly check on their inamoratas' wall posts. Sadly, the wall offers no reliable information on the inamorata's true romantic interest.
So if you really want to secure a romantic position: go ahead, ask, and work your way there. Be proactive.
Mature, intimate lovers and (very) close friends hardly 'wall' each other. Married couples especially don't use it to communicate, unless they want to be silly and romantic on occasion, maybe.
I myself seldom wall the people I cherish the most. The intimacy of a private message is far more appealing. Even better: a face to face get-together, or a phone call. This may reflect a personal preference though. I prefer sharing with my loved one(s) without having to advertise our sphere to the rest of the world.
Facebook walls, then, are generally for friendly greetings, harmless discussions, and among younger users: territorial marking. It is interesting to observe how the latter works: a wall post from an opposite sex would soon be followed a barrage from other competitors - all of whom boast a 'special' connection with the wall owner. I always find this kind of posts comical and therefore amusing.
Still, such territorial marking does cause enough insecurity that many are urged to regularly check on their inamoratas' wall posts. Sadly, the wall offers no reliable information on the inamorata's true romantic interest.
So if you really want to secure a romantic position: go ahead, ask, and work your way there. Be proactive.
2008/08/18
2008/08/03
Tell Me on a Sunday
Don't write a letter when you want to leave
Don't call me at 3 a.m. from a friend's apartment
I'd like to choose how I hear the news
Take me to a park that's covered with trees
Tell me on a Sunday please
Let me down easy
No big song and dance
No long faces, no long looks
No deep conversation
I know the way we should spend that day
Take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees
Tell me on a Sunday please
Don't want to know who's to blame
It won't help knowing
Don't want to fight day and night
Bad enough you're going
Don't leave in silence with no word at all
Don't get drunk and slam the door
That's no way to end this
I know how I want you to say goodbye
Find a circus ring with a flying trapeze
Tell me on a Sunday please
I don't want to fight day and night
Bad enough you're going
Don't leave in silence with no word at all
Don't get drunk and slam the door
That's no way to end this
I know how I want you to say goodbye
Don't run off in the pouring rain
Don't call me as they call your plane
Take the hurt out of all the pain
Take me to a park that's covered with trees
Tell me on a Sunday please
Tell Me On A Sunday from the musical Song & Dance
Lyrics by Don Webb; music by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Listen to Michael Crawford's performance
Don't call me at 3 a.m. from a friend's apartment
I'd like to choose how I hear the news
Take me to a park that's covered with trees
Tell me on a Sunday please
Let me down easy
No big song and dance
No long faces, no long looks
No deep conversation
I know the way we should spend that day
Take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees
Tell me on a Sunday please
Don't want to know who's to blame
It won't help knowing
Don't want to fight day and night
Bad enough you're going
Don't leave in silence with no word at all
Don't get drunk and slam the door
That's no way to end this
I know how I want you to say goodbye
Find a circus ring with a flying trapeze
Tell me on a Sunday please
I don't want to fight day and night
Bad enough you're going
Don't leave in silence with no word at all
Don't get drunk and slam the door
That's no way to end this
I know how I want you to say goodbye
Don't run off in the pouring rain
Don't call me as they call your plane
Take the hurt out of all the pain
Take me to a park that's covered with trees
Tell me on a Sunday please
Tell Me On A Sunday from the musical Song & Dance
Lyrics by Don Webb; music by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Listen to Michael Crawford's performance
2008/08/02
2008/07/29
more on Plan B
On 25 August 2007, approximately 11 months prior to my previous entry, my good friend and I had a discussion on Love's Plan B dilemma. I asked him to explain his point of view as a male who was having a relationship.
In his words, answering whether a man would keep maintaining and assessing alternatives despite having an exclusive partner:
Agree to some degree, because we use logic more than feelings. It seems logical. But I also disagree because sometimes, we already choose from the beginning.
Usually we collect as many possibilities as possible, then narrow down to a single choice, sometimes even with Plan B and Plan C. That's true.
But in choosing a [lifetime] partner it can be different. Some men just know because they also involve feelings and prayers. Logic may not work here.
For intelligent men and women, one of the greatest challenges is to surrender our logic and fully believe in God. That's why we should first seek his will.
My friend was married a few months after that late night chat. He boasts a transformed physique to prove his happy marriage. Once an underweight skeleton resemblance, he is now a healthy looking man, with baby-like chubby cheeks.
In his words, answering whether a man would keep maintaining and assessing alternatives despite having an exclusive partner:
Agree to some degree, because we use logic more than feelings. It seems logical. But I also disagree because sometimes, we already choose from the beginning.
Usually we collect as many possibilities as possible, then narrow down to a single choice, sometimes even with Plan B and Plan C. That's true.
But in choosing a [lifetime] partner it can be different. Some men just know because they also involve feelings and prayers. Logic may not work here.
For intelligent men and women, one of the greatest challenges is to surrender our logic and fully believe in God. That's why we should first seek his will.
My friend was married a few months after that late night chat. He boasts a transformed physique to prove his happy marriage. Once an underweight skeleton resemblance, he is now a healthy looking man, with baby-like chubby cheeks.
2008/07/27
Love's Plan B
These days I wake up with a relief – I am free
There were days when I was only an alternative
Manipulated, waiting in silent agony while he with guile
Enjoyed waters from different cisterns
How foolish I was to believe love should be abusive
Love’s Plan B
By Nando Pelusi, Ph.D. for Psychology Today, August 2008
There were days when I was only an alternative
Manipulated, waiting in silent agony while he with guile
Enjoyed waters from different cisterns
How foolish I was to believe love should be abusive
Love’s Plan B
By Nando Pelusi, Ph.D. for Psychology Today, August 2008
This article is not available online. Excerpts:
Although we may love our exclusive partner, we can still think about other romantic possibilities – people we keep in a mental box that might as well be labeled “Open in case of current relationship’s demise.” No matter how content we are, we still seek a sense of security by creating a web of potential future romantic alliances. That’s why people are hardly shocked to hear that a sizable percentage of men trawling online dating sites are married.
Joshua Duntley, an assistant professor of psychology at Stockton College in New Jersey, uses the term “backup mates” to describe the Plan B partners. Duntley has surveyed college students on their tendency to keenly monitor the availability and social circumstances of other potential paramours. Backup partners are not merely short-term mates – someone with whom we have a fling. The backup mate is a man or woman who is viable as a serious partner in his or her own right. Men reported getting more upset when a desirable backup mate found another partner then when a short-term mate did so.
Our quest for love insurance takes many forms. When in a relationship, we may casually flirt with someone to whom we’re only mildly attracted, just to assess whether we’ve still got the stuff. But more often, the goal of a flirtation is to determine whether the other person is a viable partner, should the primary train go off-track.
For many in search of a runner-up partner, there’s a woman or man who knows they’re “it” (ie. the backup partner). Women are more often the ones waiting in the wings. This is in part a reflection of women’s generally high standards for mates. Many women gamble on the possibility of a (perceived) stellar mate, as opposed to the certainty of a man who is subpar.
Whether you’re a man or woman, the problem with being a backup is that once your inamorata labels you second tier, your chances of becoming the primary love interest diminish. Labels, once created, tend to stick. Plus, once you accept the role of runner-up, you risk seeing yourself as a perennial backup in many walks of life. You can find someone for whom you’re Plan A – but not if you’re inertly functioning as someone else’s Plan B.
What to do with a Plan B relationship:
If you’re left waiting in the wings:
Although we may love our exclusive partner, we can still think about other romantic possibilities – people we keep in a mental box that might as well be labeled “Open in case of current relationship’s demise.” No matter how content we are, we still seek a sense of security by creating a web of potential future romantic alliances. That’s why people are hardly shocked to hear that a sizable percentage of men trawling online dating sites are married.
Joshua Duntley, an assistant professor of psychology at Stockton College in New Jersey, uses the term “backup mates” to describe the Plan B partners. Duntley has surveyed college students on their tendency to keenly monitor the availability and social circumstances of other potential paramours. Backup partners are not merely short-term mates – someone with whom we have a fling. The backup mate is a man or woman who is viable as a serious partner in his or her own right. Men reported getting more upset when a desirable backup mate found another partner then when a short-term mate did so.
Our quest for love insurance takes many forms. When in a relationship, we may casually flirt with someone to whom we’re only mildly attracted, just to assess whether we’ve still got the stuff. But more often, the goal of a flirtation is to determine whether the other person is a viable partner, should the primary train go off-track.
For many in search of a runner-up partner, there’s a woman or man who knows they’re “it” (ie. the backup partner). Women are more often the ones waiting in the wings. This is in part a reflection of women’s generally high standards for mates. Many women gamble on the possibility of a (perceived) stellar mate, as opposed to the certainty of a man who is subpar.
Whether you’re a man or woman, the problem with being a backup is that once your inamorata labels you second tier, your chances of becoming the primary love interest diminish. Labels, once created, tend to stick. Plus, once you accept the role of runner-up, you risk seeing yourself as a perennial backup in many walks of life. You can find someone for whom you’re Plan A – but not if you’re inertly functioning as someone else’s Plan B.
What to do with a Plan B relationship:
- Throw yourself into your primary relationship.
- Cast a vote of confidence in your relationship by publicly proclaiming it. Public pronouncements carry social power.
- Desire for a perfect mate may keep you assessing prospects – but don’t confuse this inclination with a lack of basic satisfaction with your extant mate.
- Smile, relax, and actively love your mate as he or she is. Those who act lovingly start feeling more love.
If you’re left waiting in the wings:
- Limit the amount you’re willing to wait – and stick to your deadline for a resolution. Enlist a friend to monitor your progress.
- Accept the short-term hassles of moving on, and embrace the options you have been forgoing.
- Throw down an ultimatum: Only a showdown will get things moving.
- If within your time period, say, three months – the person does not make you their primary mate, focus on new opportunities.
2008/07/14
2008/07/13
The Marriage Dilemma
如果我嫁只为了让长辈开心，然后婚姻不幸福，我可不可以怪你？
When my beloved elderly aunt prodded me again about marriage a few months ago, my impudent answer was, “If I marry just to please the elders, shall I blame you when my marriage turns unhappy?”
She hushed me for saying such an unfortunate word, and since then never again mentioned the topic. I don’t blame her for encouraging marriage. Since my birth, Auntie has been directly involved in my life, more than my busy parents. She has every right to worry if there will be one to protect and provide; and my answer was impudent. The perspective in which we conversed was in many ways irrelevant to the present world. Modern marriages hardly work that way.
Blame the soaring and searing inflation and other socio-economic complexities. Often men are not the only provider in the family. Women, out of necessity and/or for enjoyment, are actively engaged in the work force, climb the corporate ladder, and grow increasingly independent. More women are relying less on marriage for financial security; and even emotional needs. Marriages in this complicated world seem to bring about more anguish than happiness. Those who seek the ideal husband find none. There is no guarantee that there will be children, or that they will mature just fine: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
One may argue that none should seek the perfect husband because, well, he does not exist. True, and therefore it takes a great amount of lunacy, bravery, and faith, to vow a lifetime of marital commitment. It takes an even greater sacrificial love to work a marriage, for which both husband and wife are responsible. Hence, if ever I become crazy enough to get married, I should never blame my elders when my marriage hits a wall.
Presently, I love and enjoy my independence. I am by no means affluent. I am yet to afford the luxury of attending a postgraduate school. However I will be able to modestly provide for myself should my father decide to throw me out of his house. Emotional wise, there are enough people with whom I share my life and love (and a few dirty little secrets): family members, friends, and students. Even them alone, I sometimes find challenging to love.
Ah, as for the pleasure factor: who says Music can’t give you toe-curling delights? What's more - musical pleasures do not wane with age.
I jokingly tell my friends: it is difficult enough to live in obedience to God (Ex.20:5-6, Jn.14:15); and in an Asian family you are required to honor and obey your parents. Try to add a husband (Ep.5:24) on top of that. What a fattening sundae!
At least for now: 不嫁，不加烦。
She hushed me for saying such an unfortunate word, and since then never again mentioned the topic. I don’t blame her for encouraging marriage. Since my birth, Auntie has been directly involved in my life, more than my busy parents. She has every right to worry if there will be one to protect and provide; and my answer was impudent. The perspective in which we conversed was in many ways irrelevant to the present world. Modern marriages hardly work that way.
Blame the soaring and searing inflation and other socio-economic complexities. Often men are not the only provider in the family. Women, out of necessity and/or for enjoyment, are actively engaged in the work force, climb the corporate ladder, and grow increasingly independent. More women are relying less on marriage for financial security; and even emotional needs. Marriages in this complicated world seem to bring about more anguish than happiness. Those who seek the ideal husband find none. There is no guarantee that there will be children, or that they will mature just fine: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
One may argue that none should seek the perfect husband because, well, he does not exist. True, and therefore it takes a great amount of lunacy, bravery, and faith, to vow a lifetime of marital commitment. It takes an even greater sacrificial love to work a marriage, for which both husband and wife are responsible. Hence, if ever I become crazy enough to get married, I should never blame my elders when my marriage hits a wall.
Presently, I love and enjoy my independence. I am by no means affluent. I am yet to afford the luxury of attending a postgraduate school. However I will be able to modestly provide for myself should my father decide to throw me out of his house. Emotional wise, there are enough people with whom I share my life and love (and a few dirty little secrets): family members, friends, and students. Even them alone, I sometimes find challenging to love.
Ah, as for the pleasure factor: who says Music can’t give you toe-curling delights? What's more - musical pleasures do not wane with age.
I jokingly tell my friends: it is difficult enough to live in obedience to God (Ex.20:5-6, Jn.14:15); and in an Asian family you are required to honor and obey your parents. Try to add a husband (Ep.5:24) on top of that. What a fattening sundae!
At least for now: 不嫁，不加烦。
2008/05/02
Forget it. Step aside.
You don't see her. You don't truly care to see her.
You live in dreams, do you not? You were only searching for someone to embody your imagination when you found her. Perhaps it was her laughter (when she wasn't laughing at your jokes; it was pure courtesy) or her voice (when she wasn't singing to impress you). You let your imagination grow in her.
It was a mistake.
So what if she looked at you from time to time. Do people not measure one another, out of varied motives and for different purposes?
Judge not people on a Sunday afternoon, when bodies are sedated and life's pressures are hidden behind pleasantries and civilities, when darker thoughts are concealed in the noble discussion of philosophy. Adore not people at such times.
After all, personality is a skill.
Care you to love her when she's more mean than sweet, when her words slash like a two-edged sword, when she wishes she could slam someone hard against a locker and not be convicted, when she wishes she could run and cry and scream in the evening rain and not worry about tomorrow's obligations? Care you to understand her fears and pains?
Do you care more that she listens to you, that she understands your dreams and disappointments? Dream you that she would stand by you in all circumstances? Dream you that she will care for you and yours? Dream you that she would love you, sing for you, make love to you, despite your weaknesses, regardless of your lack of personality AND unhealthy lifestyle choices?
Good Sir, with all respect, some people need more than an excellent spiritual philosophy to thrive.
Step aside, please, and remain behind the sidelines.
You don't see her. You don't truly care to see her.
You live in dreams, do you not? You were only searching for someone to embody your imagination when you found her. Perhaps it was her laughter (when she wasn't laughing at your jokes; it was pure courtesy) or her voice (when she wasn't singing to impress you). You let your imagination grow in her.
It was a mistake.
So what if she looked at you from time to time. Do people not measure one another, out of varied motives and for different purposes?
Judge not people on a Sunday afternoon, when bodies are sedated and life's pressures are hidden behind pleasantries and civilities, when darker thoughts are concealed in the noble discussion of philosophy. Adore not people at such times.
After all, personality is a skill.
Care you to love her when she's more mean than sweet, when her words slash like a two-edged sword, when she wishes she could slam someone hard against a locker and not be convicted, when she wishes she could run and cry and scream in the evening rain and not worry about tomorrow's obligations? Care you to understand her fears and pains?
Do you care more that she listens to you, that she understands your dreams and disappointments? Dream you that she would stand by you in all circumstances? Dream you that she will care for you and yours? Dream you that she would love you, sing for you, make love to you, despite your weaknesses, regardless of your lack of personality AND unhealthy lifestyle choices?
Good Sir, with all respect, some people need more than an excellent spiritual philosophy to thrive.
Step aside, please, and remain behind the sidelines.
2008/01/05
Over You
Breathing freely
At last
Over You
By Daughtry
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me
You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me
Well, I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you.
At last
Over You
By Daughtry
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me
You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me
Well, I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought I'd doubt you
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better
And now I'm picking up the pieces
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you.
2007/12/09
Sardonic
May I see with compassion, I pray,
For I cannot hide my wry smile at
The failed disguise, witnessing
Such fear of the future
The young ladies' anxiety and
The young man's insecurity
For I cannot hide my wry smile at
The failed disguise, witnessing
Such fear of the future
The young ladies' anxiety and
The young man's insecurity
2007/11/25
Just So People Know..
A Man's Shelf Life: Best If Used By 35
By Mark Teich for Psychology Today, October 2007
Teich's Resource Persons:
By looking for perfection in your life before you conceive, there's a very real chance you'll have less perfect kids.
Not only does male fertility decrease decade by decade, especially after age 35, but aging sperm can be a significant and sometimes the only cause of severe health and developmental problems in offspring.
Men produce millions of sperm cells every time they ejaculate. After each ejaculation, they must literally replicate those cells, and each replication multiplies the chance for a DNA "copy error".
In humans as well as in other mammals, when there's new genetic change - called 'de novo or sporadic point mutation' - it almost always happens in the male parent. And these de novo mutations increase in frequency with the age of the male parent.
Several studies have shown that the older the man, the more fragmented the DNA in his ejaculated sperm, resulting in greater risk for infertility, miscarriage or birth defects.
Sperm DNA is damaged by even low levels of free radicals.
Sperm is incapable of repairing itself.
When both parents are aging, the risks to offspring multiply.
"If women are under age 35, the father's age may not matter that much, but if the mother is over 35, advanced male age can be a real problem." (Jabs)
If you're going to get a vasectomy, join the Army, or go through cancer therapy, "I'd advise you to freeze your sperm beforehand." (Muller)
Most men can steer a gentler course just by watching their health.
One key is testosterone, necessary for the maturation of sperm. Testosterone naturally starts to decline in the 30s, but also varies based on factors from weight to heart health.
"Whatever hurts your heart, hurts your penis." (Fisch)
If you want to father a child after age 40, get in the best shape of your life.
By Mark Teich for Psychology Today, October 2007
Teich's Resource Persons:
- James F. Crow, geneticist at University of Wisconsin in Madison
- Harry Fisch, urologist and director of the Male Reproductive Center at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York City and author of The Male Biological Clock
- Ethylin Wang Jabs, professor of pediatric genetics at Johns Hopkins University and leader of a recent study showing the link between aging paternity and certain facial deformities in offspring.
- Dolores Malaspina, chair of psychiatry at New York University Medical Center
- Charles Muller, lab director of the Male Fertility Clinic at the University of Washington in Seattle
- Barbara Willet, of the Best Start childhood resource center in Ontario, Canada
By looking for perfection in your life before you conceive, there's a very real chance you'll have less perfect kids.
Not only does male fertility decrease decade by decade, especially after age 35, but aging sperm can be a significant and sometimes the only cause of severe health and developmental problems in offspring.
Men produce millions of sperm cells every time they ejaculate. After each ejaculation, they must literally replicate those cells, and each replication multiplies the chance for a DNA "copy error".
In humans as well as in other mammals, when there's new genetic change - called 'de novo or sporadic point mutation' - it almost always happens in the male parent. And these de novo mutations increase in frequency with the age of the male parent.
Several studies have shown that the older the man, the more fragmented the DNA in his ejaculated sperm, resulting in greater risk for infertility, miscarriage or birth defects.
Sperm DNA is damaged by even low levels of free radicals.
Sperm is incapable of repairing itself.
When both parents are aging, the risks to offspring multiply.
"If women are under age 35, the father's age may not matter that much, but if the mother is over 35, advanced male age can be a real problem." (Jabs)
If you're going to get a vasectomy, join the Army, or go through cancer therapy, "I'd advise you to freeze your sperm beforehand." (Muller)
Most men can steer a gentler course just by watching their health.
One key is testosterone, necessary for the maturation of sperm. Testosterone naturally starts to decline in the 30s, but also varies based on factors from weight to heart health.
"Whatever hurts your heart, hurts your penis." (Fisch)
If you want to father a child after age 40, get in the best shape of your life.
2007/11/13
Congrats
Congratulations to my Eldest Brother who on 11 11 007 has become the lawfully wedded husband of a remarkable woman who likes his quirks, tolerates his whims, forgives his shit, and chose to love and trust him.
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